I've become one of those girls that every Monday night, like clockwork, I grab a glass of wine and search the internet for a live stream of The Bachelorette.
(Note: This is the first season I've decided to do this, so I'm still a newbie since the show has been on since 2002. Woah!)
And if you would have told me I'd be doing this four or so years ago I would have laughed at you and walked away, but here I am.
I once describe The Bachelorette/The Bachelor (depending on the time of year) as a horrid car crash. Morbid I know but it has that whole "so bad but can't look away" feel to it. I have learned though that the show is much better enjoyed with a large group of your girlfriends and tasty treats. And vino, always the vino.
It still remains a guilty pleasure because admitting that I enjoy watching the show feels like a whole other level of sin. I told my best friend I had grabbed a bottle of wine for the show tonight and he immediately responded with "laaaaame."
So I get it, apparently watching this show makes my cool factor drop a few notches.
But at least I can make fun and point out faults right?
The Hopeful Romantics
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I would be an awesome bachelorette but I would never, ever go on the bachelor.
First off, I'm sure I would end up being one of those girls that are labeled as crazy and get a ton of memes made of me that would fly around twitter instantly. Secondly, I get jealous way too easily. I wouldn't even be out of the limo and I would be shooting dagger eyes at these ladies. At least I'm honest...that's gotta get me some points.
But being the main girl and having men compete for my love? All about it.
If only because I am so bad at dates, flirting, and cute guys that the show would be for all ages suddenly as people across the world feel sorry for me and my loud laugh ways.
What I wouldn't be down for is the declarations of love to 1) more than one person (looking at you Ben) or 2) saying the L word too soon. Seriously, these people just jump right on into it and while I get it's a show...come on now. It's a show.
The Game Show Factor
It cracks me up that overall this show is a game show.
A show where you're trying to find the love of your life while competing is bizarre, like a strange twist on The Hunger Games.
I mean they're called contestants and there's a winner and they have challenges! I find this all insanely amusing. The Rose Ceremony is supposed to be serious, hearts are breaking here folks, but it's so comical I can't see it that way.
I can't imagine being on The Bachelorette after having my heart broken very publicly on The Bachelor but it's all part of the game I guess.
I really have to applaud the producers on this one.
The editing that the previews go through makes it look like everything is about to go down week after week but it's all a trick.
We all thought there was going to be a fight this season but turns out a guy just hurt himself jumping into a pool. Yes, a pool.
And you can't tell me that it isn't as scripted as your favourite rom-com! I mean I'm sure a lot of things are spontaneous but there's a reason a guy hears something he shouldn't or one of the doe-eyed girls sneaks off in the night to find their dream man.
Drama on drama
Like every other average human being, I enjoy drama when it is not my own. When it is safely on the TV, it's amazing.
We all grow to love and hate the same characters (for the most part anyway).
Take Chad for example. He is the villain of the season, just the thought of him makes me gag a little. Everyone I know hates him except for my friend Colin, which I judge him for entirely.
The show wouldn't be entertaining without the drama! We would all just watch feeling like third wheels as two people went on a normal date. Normal doesn't sell people, and that's why there's the crazy that needs to happen.
I mean could we have skipped out on leaving Olivia on that island? Probably. But was it worth it? I would say yes.
The King & Queen of dates
I truly hope there is no one out there that thinks their first date is going to be anything like the dates on this show.
It would be thrilling to have a helicopter to pick me up instead of an Uber but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.
What I've always wondered is how the couple adjusts after the show ends. Everything is so exciting with traveling around, private concerts and extreme date night and then when it's all over? Well I would hope at that point their truly in love, even without the camera crew, but it would still be an adjustment.
And I never noticed until last season that they never eat on camera and apparently it's because showing people eating on camera isn't attractive (true) but adding that in would be so much better for the dates. Hello I want to see if they do awkward small talk too in between bites and chugging wine, just to see if my date habits are anywhere near normal.
Overall it's not that I hate the show. It's that I hate that I love it.
It's a great show to watch and get frustrated with and forget your own dating problems (which I don't have right now for the first time...ever) and root for what guy or girl you just know deserves love.
Honestly some of these TV men just make me thankful for the guy in my life! Sure, every guy can be a jerk sometimes but at least I don't have the whole world watching me fall for the jerk.
The show at the end of every long Monday is a nice escape and while I feel it's s guilty pleasure I will feel no guilt tonight as I settle in with my wine and chocolate and root for my girl JoJo.