Your best friend getting married is a hugely exciting occasion.
You’ve grown up together, laughed together, cried together and now you get to share her big day together. Better still, you’ve been asked to be her bridesmaid, or maybe even her maid of honour.
But once you’ve got over the emotion of it all, it’s time to get down to business. It is at this point that you will usually find out what kind of wedding planner your friend is going to be – she may be completely relaxed and chilled, or you could end up with a bridezilla. Planning your big day is stressful, so you can forgive the occasional hissy fit or meltdown over the catering.
But if your BFF is pushing everyone’s buttons by being a complete diva (to put it nicely), here are some ways to tactically diffuse the situation and get the wedding back on track.
The Bachelorette Party
The bachelorette party is traditionally organized by the team of bridesmaids for the bride to be so it needs to be something she’ll enjoy.
First things first, don’t antagonize an already on-the-edge bride by suggesting something that is more suited to your taste. Chances are, she will see right through the plan straight away and will openly call you out for it. Instead, have a meeting with the other bridesmaids and decide what you can do within the realms of your budget. If the bride demands an expensive weekend away that none of you can really afford, gently sit her down and explain the situation. Emphasize that you would love to be able to treat her like that, but that it just isn’t feasible for everyone. Try suggesting somewhere cheaper, on the basis that at least that way, you could stay for a lot longer.
Deciding on the bridesmaid dresses can be a huge challenge for everyone.
Not only do most weddings tend to feature around five bridesmaids, these could also be five very different shaped bridesmaids. Getting everyone to agree on a design of dress is very hard when what flatters one person may not flatter another. But, the worst case scenario is when the bride picks out dresses that are totally inappropriate. If you all feel uncomfortable in the dresses, you won’t enjoy the day as much.
Tell the bride that although you appreciate her putting thought into the dresses, you just don’t feel at ease in her choices. Explain a cut and colour scheme that you think would flatter everyone to give her some inspiration. This will mean that she can go out shopping next time with a clearer idea in mind, and she will still feel like she is in control of the situation.
The Bridesmaid Duties
With great honour comes great responsibility, or something along those lines.
You will probably end up being more involved in the wedding planning than you thought you would be. If your friend has you up until 3 a.m. glueing gemstones onto handmade invites, don’t immediately have a fit. Yes, it’s annoying, but in your role as a bridesmaid you have to support the bride as much as you can.
However, if she is going a little over the top, explain that you also need some time out of the wedding, and ask if you can come back tomorrow to finish the job. Recruit the other bridesmaids to help and you’ll have it done in no time! All your hard work will pay off in the end.