Let’s just be straight up about it: hair loss is a bitch.
It sucks your confidence right out of you, is a pain in the butt to manage, and hair loss can be tied to so many health issues that Google WILL tell you that you’re dying (yes, I Google my symptoms).
A few summers ago, my hair got really thin and I was able to figure out the causes (dry shampoo and stress) and get a handle on it. But what started this past summer wasn’t just thinning hair, it was multiple bald spots. Small ones, and a big one that has surpassed a tennis ball and just keeps going and going and going.
My hairline? Gone! My widow’s peak? RIP! And with that, my confidence has taken a dive, even as I work to accept what is now the norm for my body.
I have tried hair oils, supplements, and all the fixes you find on TikTok. I don’t really style my hair lately and haven’t bleached it in well over a year.
My doctor said to wait it out and I listened, because why wouldn’t I? Fast forward to just over 6 months later and my case is past that of topicals and injections. Next steps are in motion, but at this time there’s nothing on the market to treat alopecia areata, so those next steps are all a gamble.
I’ve accepted that I might have to do the big buzz within 2021, as I’ve lost about 50% of my hair (this was a shock to me but the dermatologist went looking for the bald spots, I have opted to stop looking) and I have become quite good at finding scarves, plus there are so many wigs out there!
But it’s still a hit on the confidence.
The self-esteem. I have grown to hate Zoom (even more) because I’m constantly checking to make sure my head is properly covered, I shudder to think what it will be like when I’m back in the real world.
Listen: I know I’m beautiful no matter what. I get that. I’m more than my hair, blah blah blah.
But that doesn’t mean I want to be dealing with an autoimmune disorder that results in unpredictable, patchy hair loss. And is triggered by stress. I don’t care if I can pull off whatever is coming my way, I don’t like that it’s out of my control.
And quite frankly, if this comes off as negative then that’s fine by me. I am angry about it, annoyed I listened to my doctor, and also frustrated hair loss just…isn’t talked about? With men, sure thing! That’s normal, that’s accepted.
I had no idea until I shared a few Insta stories how many women I knew were dealing with a large amount of hair loss – some cases of alopecia, some not. Because it’s just something that isn’t discussed. And that’s when I find myself torn because part of me is tired of putting on that brave face, but also I do like helping people feel less alone. It’s a toss-up, especially when I am not able to do anything to help myself.
I am in no way ready to ‘brave the bald’ and post without coverage. Maybe one day, and if the buzz happens then sure thing! I’ll make that a party. But I’m not there yet, I’m not ready to abandon all hope (and hair) and I realized I needed a little extra help.
Meet PHOM Hair
You know that feeling you have when you leave a hair salon (remember those?) and feel like you’re walking on a runway? Like you KNOW you look
fresh, and your glow might come from a highlighter but is mostly coming from within? PHOM wants that feeling to be at your fingertips, always. PHOM Hair was created to make people feel like their best selves with different hair looks and have fun while doing it, wherever they are. I believe that every person should feel empowered, confident and to set their own trends no matter who they are.
I have never had a thick, luscious ponytail. No, if you want that, then my sister is your go-to. My hair has always been coarse, and while I had a lot of it, it’s still thin.
And when I reached out to PHOM to collab, I truly just wanted to see if a clip-in pony could be doable for someone who is bad at hair, has half a hand, and little patience.
Little did I know that these ponytails (which are just WAITING for a night out one day!) would be the boost I needed when my own ponytail started to shrink. Right now they have two styles: the Show Pony, which is 24 inches and sleek as heck (what I’m wearing in the lingerie photos), and Pony Up which is 18 inches, has a gorgeous flip and I’m 100% ready to rock her in the day-to-day life.
From the customer side, they’re a dream. Vegan, cruelty-free, Toronto-based, and LGBTQ-owned. Their customer service is amazing – when they noticed my hair matching was a little bit off, they immediately offered to send two more that matched me better. And it’s an exact match (they know their hair.)
So that’s where I’m at right now
I’ve always said I fake the confidence until it’s real, and I guess now that goes for hair too? If it comes down to the buzz, you’ll be the first to know.